When is the last time I posted on this blog…hmmm let’s see…oh, man a couple weeks it seems!
Now that could mean a couple things to you.
One: I’m lazy.
Two: I’ve been incredibly busy and haven’t had time to write.
I deny both and answer the question with something much much worse. And it is something that is just coming to light tonight.
I’ve been worrying.
About what? you might asked. Well, a bit of everything, of course: upcoming graduate school classes, my own classes I teach, future family additions (here come those twins!), projected work loads, past injuries which might recur (got a bad bum knee), worries about direction and focus.
And like Charlie Brown would say “My anxieties have anxieties.” ‘Cause I’m worried ’bout my worryin’!
Now of course, Matthew 7:25-34 comes to mind, that wonderfully read but ignored passage by people like me, where Jesus directly states “Do not worry.” He further states that God knows all we need and will take care of us. “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
I’m not just taking on worries about tomorrow, I’m covering weeks and months and years in my tormented spirit.
And I suddenly realize how much time that has been taking up lately.
Because worriers are often the world’s best procrastinators as well. Easier to worry about something than do something about it and let the matter rest.
Or trust God and let the matter rest in Him.
Because I’ve realized the amount I’ve been worrying is directly proportional to how little time I’ve spent in prayer, and here prayer meaning that stillness and reliance in the face of God.
And worrying is also directly proportional to the amount of time I’ve spent in distractions of every kind.
Writing, by the way, is not a distraction for me. It helps me focus.
How long since that last blog post? At least it wasn’t months this time.
Worrying takes so much time and energy out of me.
So much time.
When that could be time taking my worries to God, and while the problem or situation might still be “out there,” it is book-ended with a trust in a God who loves, cares, heals, redeems, and feeds birds and clothes lilacs.
Who is not a small God, so made by our neglect and lack of trust.
But a large God, whose infinite unconditional love and care for us says emphatically, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”